I keep repeating those words to myself.
I started playing the flute in fourth grade. I still play today. I am not a quitter. I started playing the piano when I was 10 years old. I still play today. I am not a quitter. I have finished triathalons. I am not a quitter. I have completed a Spartan Race. I am not a quitter. I got married 13 years ago and love my husband more today than I did the day we got married. I am not a quitter. I gave birth to two children and even though times got rough I never put them up for adoption (that's a joke...). I am not a quitter. I finished grade school. I am not a quitter. I finished high school. I am not a quitter. I finished college the first time. I am not a quitter. I will finish nursing school because I am not a quitter.
For the first time in my life quitting has actually not just crossed my mind, but sat in it for a while. When I first started nursing school I never imagined in a million years it would be this hard. How hard it would be to take care of my family, be a good wife and mother, keep a house and go to school. This is, by far, the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. A big part of me wants to just walk away and go back to my happy stay-at-home mom life where I baked cookies and ironed shirts and had time to take my kids to the playground or just time to sit and let them read me a book. I miss that stuff. I miss just being a mom and a wife and a friend. It would be so easy to just jump ship and walk away and go back to that carefree, stress-less existence. But then I would be a quitter -- and I am not a quitter. I keep trying to tell myself that over and over again. I am not a quitter. I AM not a quitter. I am NOT a quitter. I am not a QUITTER. I AM NOT A QUITTER!!!!!
I am so thankful for my amazing family and friends who encourage me when I feel like I can't take one more step. I am thankful for the shoulders to cry on when it seems like nothing is going right. I am thankful for the help with my kids. I am thankful for the dinners that are made me for me every Tuesday by my amazing friend, Erin. I am so very thankful for each and every person that gives me the courage to keep going. I am not a quitter.