Saturday, September 15, 2012

Definitely a better week!

Phew!  This week turned out to be SO MUCH better than last week -- and it's a really good thing because last week I felt like I was inches from just calling it quits.  I must admit, I still continually wonder why I am doing this; why I am putting myself and my family through all of this.  I guess it wouldn't be life if it didn't have a few rough patches, right?  At the end of each day, it is stuff like this that matters. . .
My daughter drew this for me the other night on her white board.  I bought cheap white boards at the beginning of the school year, and I leave them little pictures and messages on the mornings that I am not home to put them on the bus (I leave at 6:54 three days a week).  When I got home Friday, she had erased my message to her and replace it with this message for me.  It made it all worth it.  The fact that my kids still love me and think I am amazing is enough to make me endure even the steepest climbs.  Having their love at the end of each day is more than anything I could ever ask for!  I am so blessed to have such an awesome family!!!!

So, things looked up this week.  I passed my retake of the med quiz with a 100%!!!!  Yippee!  I didn't kill anyone!!!!  I also came to the realization that passing the med quiz doesn't mean a damn thing if you don't know how to take it into practice.  I may not be the best mathematician, and it may take me a few extra steps and a few extra minutes to make a calculation, but I feel like I have a good sense of what to do with that med once I reach the patient.  Just because you are a math whiz doesn't mean you know how to be a nurse!  In listening to fellow classmates review a pediatric case study last week it dawned on me that acing a math test is only 1/10 of the battle!  Now I am not being self righteous or anything like that, but as the expression goes "I'm just sayin!"  And that is how my irrational brain makes me feel better.

Clinical Friday was great!  I am definitely warming up to my clinical instructor -- she is a very funny lady!!!  We had a great day Friday.  I got to help with a colostomy wafer change (the patient was a bit difficult and it didn't go exactly smoothly, but it was still a great learning experience!).  The nurses on the floor are still gaining their confidence in us, hopefully they will start letting us do more once they realize we are capable!

I have my first Pediatric exam on Monday.  I have been spending just about every spare second studying for it!  We had 482 pages to read in the book (no, I didn't count but a classmate did!) and the professor probably lectured on about 50 pages of that material.  Talk about a waste of time lecture!!!  I'd rather spend the 3 hours reading the book instead of listening to a worthless lecture.  Additionally, I had some questions during lecture and she actually seemed annoyed with me when I asked them!  What???  I am paying her salary!!!  Several classmates remarked about it, saying that the questions I asked were educated, valid questions and they also noticed her annoyance.  That really irks me!  I am there to learn!  Geez.  

Med/Surg is great.  The professor is so thorough and explains things really well.  Reading the book is more for clarification than for initial learning.  It's a stark contrast from Pedi!  

I'm already looking ahead to next semester (registration is Oct. 22!) and it looks like Med/Surg II and Leadership are my next port of call.  Leadership has no clinical which is AWESOME!!!  Med/Surg II is oncology (mostly) so it should be an interesting semester with a bit of a lighter work load -- or so I hope!

I had to add a countdown clock on the blog for this semester -- just so I can see the progress I am making.  Every day I complete is one step closer to the end of this difficult semester!

I am thankful that God stepped in this week and created some peace around me, I felt a lot less edgy and a little more accepting of where I am at.  I am feeling a little less overwhelmed -- it's amazing what incessant praying will accomplish.  Just kidding.
Hopefully I will be reporting a satisfying grade on my first Pedi exam.  I know I am doing the best I can with the tools I have been given in the time that is allotted.  As long as I do my best I cannot be disappointed in myself!
My new mantra!

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