Slacker!

I have been such a slacker with this blog and I apologize! I know that a lot of you follow this to see how I am doing and to check if I am surviving and I feel very guilty about not finding the time to write! I am here, I am tired, but I am OK!

The past two weeks have been INSANE. I keep thinking each week is insanity at its worst but the following week seems to trump the week before it! Last week I had a paper due Wednesday (turned out to be 20 pages) -- a full, comprehensive, detailed, long health assessment. The interview process for it took 3 hours and then the paper took many hours to write, edit and finalize. In addition, I had 4 chapters in Health Assessment to read (the same class the paper was due for) and 5 chapters in my Fundamentals class. Fortunately, the information for Fundamentals was about IV placement and therapy which I have a lot of experience with from working in the animal hospital and I also really enjoy it. This was a huge advantage and I wound up with a 95% on my quiz for that week. My highest quiz grade of all *pats my back*. This was the last quiz of the semester for Fundamentals.

This week we had a performance test in Fundamentals. It was on giving an injection. I have done this a million times to dogs and cats but never to a person! I wound up getting 99% on the test. What did I forget? I forgot to provide privacy for the patient by shutting his imaginary door or pulling his imaginary curtain. Cats and dogs don't need privacy!!! Hee hee. I only lost 1 point because I remembered that I forgot to provide privacy and mentioned it -- just a little late -- poor Mike Mannequin had his covers off and his thigh was already exposed. Whoops. She was kind and only took off 1 point (ironic part is that she gave me full credit for it and didn't realize I didn't do it until I opened by big mouth!!!!) Honesty is the best policy. :) I really feel that I earned back my lost point though...I was the first one to take the test (it is done individually) and I pointed out the lack of hand sanitizer for hand hygiene and the absence of the proper needle to deliver an intramuscular injection to a 190 lb male patient! In my opinion, that makes me deserve my lost point. ;) But I am not squabbling because I am thrilled with the 99!

While I am being thrilled with my 99 I have to tell you that I have decided the grades don't mean everything. I put so much pressure on myself to do well, I am my worst critic by far! In the end, all I really want is to be a good nurse. I don't want to graduate with a 4.0 and be a crappy nurse. If I graduate with a 3.5 and I am the best nurse that I can be then that is OK with me. The 4.0s are really nice, don't get me wrong but in the end I just want to be a GOOD NURSE!

Next week I have my FINAL EXAM in Fundamentals and then they are unleashing me on real patients. I'd be totally lying if I said I wasn't TERRIFIED!!!! I know my clinical instructor will be there every step of the way but I am still so nervous about hurting someone or dropping someone or letting someone fall. EEEK! The manikins in the lab don't talk back, they don't complain or move or SCREAM! I just keep praying to God that I don't hurt anyone. God bless the patients at Zambarano who will be under my care. In the beginning I was like "Pft. I'm not gonna be nervous when I go to clinical. It's going to be fine." Now I am thinking "Holy C*%p I am going to clinical next week and I might kill someone!!!!" Your prayers for me and my patient are very much appreciated, extra emphasis on the prayers for my patient!

I am in awe of the fact that the semester is half over. I just completed Week 7. 7 weeks to go. I must admit that I am looking forward to December, and my 5 weeks off. Next semester is looking like A LOT of work. 2 full clinical days (8 hours each) and then two 3 hour lectures in addition. It's a good thing I have learned about IVs so I can hook myself up to one that drips coffee!!!

Thank you all for your support and prayers. I am not sure what I would do without you. :) Just remember to be nice to me because one day I just might hold your pain medication. . . ;) Just kidding. . . or not. . . ;)