It was a rough summer, so while I am sorry to see the warm weather and the beach visits end, I am ready to start a new chapter and put this last one behind me. My dad wound up getting really sick at the end of June and was diagnosed with inoperable retroperitoneal rhabdomyosarcoma. He went to the ER on June 23 and he died on July 11. While it seems quick it was the longest 3 weeks of my life and although I was given the precious gift of being able to say goodbye to him, face to face, it was still one of the most difficult times of my life. It is particularly difficult for me because he was so excited to see me graduate from nursing school. He talked about it all the time - how proud he was of me, and what a wonderful thing he thought I was doing. It breaks my heart that he will not be there the day I walk across that stage and get my diploma, but I know his spirit will be with me that day and every day from here on out. He was one of my biggest fans so I am sure he will be one of my brightest guardian angels as I finish up nursing school.
This is a picture of us as we sat on the beach a few years ago. He loved the ocean and his ashes were appropriately scattered at sea after his death. Now I know every time I walk along the shore line and the waves reach my toes, he is right there, cheering me on as he always did.
So onto brighter horizons. . . My last semester starts tomorrow. It's hard to believe that is 108 days (or less) I will be done with this amazing journey through nursing school that has taught me so much, brought me together with so many friends, and has led me to patients that have changed my life in more ways than I could ever imagine possible.
Let me being this new and final semester with a prayer:
Lord, I know we go through this every day but please give me the knowledge as
to why I actually wanted to go to nursing school.
Give me the strength to make it through these boring lectures without falling asleep.
Please give me the patience to make it through my clinical duties and give the nurses the ability
to remember what it was like to be a student so they might give us just a little more respect.
Give me the endurance to read all the assigned readings and be able to remember
it when I am taking a test with the right answers.
Give my family and friends the ability to realize I really am on the edge of insanity.
Finally, Lord, give me the vision to see that one day I will be a real nurse
and I will never have to wear that ugly uniform again.