Thursday, May 23, 2013

Post Semester Struggles. . .

Since I began my journey through nursing school I have come upon many obstacles, from financial to almost incapacitating stress to guilt.  I have endured and conquered each one and am just about at the end of the journey, but this time the obstacle waited until after the semester.   I mentioned the Nursing Student Associate position that I was so excited about at the hospital -- well it seems as if I didn't get it.  I submitted my application on May 3 and here it is May 23 and I haven't heard a thing.  This leaves me feeling defeated and sad.  I thought this would be my first chance to earn some money doing something I love, but it seems that it is just not in the cards right now.  I always trust that everything happens (or doesn't happen) for a reason but it doesn't stop me from feeling any less sad about not being successful.  All through school I have struggled with guilt of spending money on tuition, books, babysitters, etc. instead of having a job to earn money and contribute to our family.  I really thought this would be a chance to make some financial contribution so it made everything doubly disappointing.  I'm trying to focus on spending the summer with my kids, but when there's no money in the bank it makes it hard to do a lot of things.

Of course, it is not helping that I had surgery on May 13th to have some hardware removed from my ankle (original surgery was in 1994 to reconstruct the three ligaments that hold the ankle joint together).  So I have been limited in my activity and mobility which quickly contributes to depression for me.  I know that God has plans for us and He has taken care of us thus far, so I have faith but I can't seem to shake the sadness.  We have each other and that is what matters, right?

So I was hoping this would be a happier update but it just wasn't in the cards this time.  For now, I will wish everyone a happy, fun and safe summer.  See you September.

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